Growly Gus

Last night I was a horrible "growly gus." I can't remember what upset me. We as women sometimes like to push it off as "hormonal." (However, don't EVEN let a man bring that up!)

All afternoon, I was quick tempered and "short" with everyone. Being creative sometimes helps me to feel better. Therefore, I went down to Bob's office to work on our new family devotion books. I worked so hard to put them together, and distributed them with pride to each family member. There's a place for them to put their memory work, and pockets to keep extra stuff. On each book I carefully, and as artistically as I could, put each members name on the front cover. To my joy everyone was so pleased with their new book. My girls, being my girls, decided it needed further decoration. Anah immediately went off to put paint designs on her name, and came back to excitedly show me what she had done. The perfect mother would have lovingly looked at her hard work and said something that would have encouraged her to continue to be artistic to the Glory of God. After all isn't that what I had just done? When God creates a beautiful sunset, I thank him and praise him for it. When my daughter is creative I say, "Anah I worked so hard on those! What were you thinking? I wanted them to all be the same!" Granted, this is not my normal response to my girls and if I could rewind that moment I would not speak those words. I would look at the excitement on her face and proclaim it genius! But the hurt on Anah's face, makes my own heart hurt. Of course I apologized, but once we "put a hole in the fence," even if we mend it, it cannot be as if it never happened. Enough holes and you might as well build a new fence.
So this morning in my prayer time and devotion I asked the Lord again to forgive me. Praise the Lord I am assured that he did! However, it seems I'm having to ask forgiveness for this too often. I need to do some heart changes. My memory verses for this week are; Ephesians 4:31-32 which says:

³¹ All bitterness, anger and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness. ³² And be kind ^A)">(A) and compassionate ^B)">(B) to one another, forgiving ^C)">(C) one another, just as God also forgave you ^a]">[a] in Christ.

And James 1:19-20:

¹⁹ My dearly loved brothers, understand this: everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, ^A)">(A) ²⁰ for man's anger does not accomplish God's righteousness.

My Self Confrontation book that I use to help me when I have an issue with a particular sin says this:

Anger is a sign of being focused on myself and not trusting God's sovereignty in my life. It is the exact opposite of biblical love and failing to put off anger an bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit, gives Satan an opportunity in my life, obscures my witness to my children and others, and disrupts the unity in the Body of Christ. Dealing with it requires wholehearted obedience to God's Word in every circumstance and with every person.

Lord, I pray that you will hold me accountable for my thoughts and actions this week. May I remember to speak words that edify and build up others. Let me not seek glory for myself but rather reflect your glory to everyone I speak to. Let me not grieve your Holy Spirit, with whom I am sealed for the day of redemption. Let me be a blessing to others. In the precious name of your son Jesus I pray. Amen

This afternoon I am pulling out our craft supplies and letting the girls "Go to town" on their books!